At 18 years of age I should have been a fit young woman who wanted to grab life with both hands.
Although I wasn’t depressed and did not have anything physically wrong with me, I had certainly adjusted to living a life that lacked true health and wellbeing.
At 174 cm tall I weighed 80 kilograms and had little vitality or motivation. I felt sluggish and often woke up with enormous back and shoulder pain, a tight jaw and felt constantly dehydrated.
I remember having to seek support from my mum who was a qualified bodyworker, as most mornings I physically couldn’t get out of bed without a back rub, allowing me to stand up straight and proceed with my day.
During this time I was on the contraceptive pill and had been since age 15, so my periods were falsely manufactured and I, therefore, had little knowledge of just how much my body was struggling. After I finished a long-term relationship at age 20 I decided to go off the pill, in order to see if I could shift some of the excess weight and regain some aliveness in my body, as my libido was now well and truly dead.
After a number of months, I realised that my menstrual cycle was actually very irregular, with no warning or rhythm of my periods it was truly a lucky dip, some months they would come, with droughts in-between. This went on for some time until I experienced an extended drought, not having a period for 10 months, at which point I decided to get medical help.
After a number of referrals and medical tests I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), informed that I had an imbalance in my testosterone and warned that weight loss would be a constant struggle and fertility may be difficult.
I asked the professionals in front of me what I could do and they prescribed the contraceptive pill, saying this would resolve the issue of irregular periods.
I felt the contraceptive pill would more cover up rather than resolve the main issue and decided to see a nutritionist instead.
My nutritionist told me that the priority was to lose weight in order to get me back into my healthy BMI range. After 6 months of a low GI diet and increasing my exercise to a minimum of 4 out of 7 days I had dropped 5 kilograms, weighing in at 75 kilograms. However I still had no periods.
A family member had been attending some complementary health workshops and suggested I have an Esoteric Breast Massage. This was my first session with an Esoteric practitioner and I remember feeling uncertain, as the modality was unusual and prior to arriving felt a little exposing.
However the session was very respectful, and honoring of where I was at in terms of being a young woman who was clearly self-conscious.
Throughout the session I had a realisation that I did not have a healthy relationship with my breasts and instead felt a lot of shame about them. My chest felt bruised and tender, my lymphatics cold and there was a hard numbness to my breasts.
I left the session pondering on this new connection I had made with my body and breasts.
Within the week of receiving this session I had my first period in what was about 16 months. Throughout the next 12 months my periods were still not regular, but they were much more frequent.
On a second occasion, after about a 2-month drought, I experienced getting my period 5 minutes after receiving an Esoteric Kidney Massage.
Six years on I’m now in my late 20’s and thanks to the support of the esoteric modalities I have changed my diet and exercise regime to one that is much more supportive of me.
I make more self-loving and honoring choices in all aspects of my life as I have a much stronger connection to what I want and need.
I no longer feel sluggish; I wake filled with vitality and motivation (with 1 or 2 days exception…I am human).
I have a new and amazing connection with my breasts, often admiring them in the mirror. They have gone from an A cup to C cup, however, I have gone from 80kg to 60kg.
With this weight loss my body structure has changed, with slender shoulders and less of an armouring stance in my back and arms; the feeling and texture of my skin has even changed!
I am also happy to report I have had regular periods for over 4 years now.
I experience my periods as an amazing clearing and time to connect and reflect more deeply with myself. I feel powerful and excited about contributing to society, getting on with life, doing what I love and living life to the full.
I feel that my studies in the Esoteric Modalities and the teachings of The Ageless Wisdom have helped me to understand myself and my body more deeply, supporting me to reconnect to who I truly am.
Committing to life I have since qualified with my masters in psychotherapy, lost 20 kilograms, cured all symptoms of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, deepened my relationships and feel a strong purpose in supporting my friends, family and clients to foster their own positive change.